My Birth Story!
They say you release a hormone after childbirth that makes you forget how painful everything was. This is true! As I wrote this story out I really had to think hard and ask others because I forgot a lot of it already! I did not have a “Birth Plan”. I had a birth idea that I expressed to my Doctors. You are basically planning out a major event that you have no control over but this little person inside of you who you have never met does. Whatever that baby wants to do is out of your control. The faster I learned that, the more at peace I was with whatever happened.
Be sure to check out my tips at the end!
I woke up around 4am Thursday morning with horrible cramps. I had googled a least 500 times “Early signs of labor” so I knew cramping was a sign things were moving along. Luckily I had my weekly Doctor's appointment that morning at 9:30am so she would be able to see exactly how I was doing. Once I told her I was having cramping and what seemed like contractions, I was hooked up to the CTG machine for 20 minutes to read how far apart the contractions were as well as monitor the baby’s heart rate. Of course I did not have one contraction during those 20 minutes but my Doctor came in, checked me out and said I was already 3 cm dilated! She said there was a strong chance I was having this baby in the next 48 hrs!
I immediately called my partner and said Okay, I think it's happening! We are in a long distance relationship so he started making his way to NYC! As I rode back home in my uber, the cramps started getting more intense. I remember thinking to myself have I done everything I wanted to do by myself? I am about to be responsible for another human and it is no longer just all about Dalijah. What an exciting but scary thought.
My friend Elle texted me that morning and said she was going into work but wanted to see me on her way home. Due to Covid, we haven’t seen each other in months, so out of excitement to see her I told her we could go for a walk. By the time she got to my place and told me to meet her outside, I told her she needs to come in because “I think I am in labor!” She immediately came in and once she was there I felt a sense of calm rush over me. We called my other friend aka the baby’s Godfather, who lives 4 blocks from me. I told him I was in labor and he said “I am coming over now!” There is nothing like good friends. He was on a conference call with work and told them he had to go because “we are in labor, my godson is coming!”
He stopped by the store to get me coconut water and gummy bears. There we sat the three of us for what seemed like hours but was really only 6 hours as I began to labor at home. They didn’t say much but just their presence was exactly what I needed. I downloaded the app called contractions that allows you to time each contraction and keeps up with how far apart they are. Contractions feel like period cramps...times infinity. I remember from our birth class the midwife said each contraction last around 60-75 seconds and hits its peak mid way, so if you can get through the first 35 seconds, they will start to come down. I kept telling myself to just let it happen and allow my body to go with it. If I fight the contractions, the worse it will feel. I went to my zen and quiet place . I sat on my big physioball and bounced through the pain. When I couldn’t do that anymore, I got on all fours and took deep breaths letting out low loud moans with each contraction. From there I laid on my left side and rubbed my belly. Then of course...they ordered me Mcdonalds! I inhaled the fries between contractions and when they became 5 minutes apart, around 6pm, I called my OB and she said Okay let's have this baby!
Elle and Godfather got my suitcase, we fed Wesley and as Elle went to get her car, it of course was blocked in by a UPS truck. At that point the pain was so bad I couldn't stand up so I screamed “F*&K it, let's just get a d*mn uber!” I do not remember the uber ride. Everything hurt. We pulled up to Mt Sinai East and I felt a gush! I thought it was my water breaking but it was actually my mucus plug coming out. (If you don’t know what a mucus plug is, google it...with the images lol.)
Guys, it is not like the movies when you go to the hospital and scream “ I’m in labor!” and 20 minutes later you are pushing out a perfectly clean baby. Once I got to Mt Sinai East, I had to check in and go through triage, contractions and all. Anyone reading this and having a baby, be sure to preregister! Luckily I did and it saved me a lot of time. Both Elle and Godfather had to wait outside because of the strict guest restrictions at the hospitals. I was sent to a room where the first Doctor came in to check me out, take my blood pressure and see how far I had dilated. By then I was around 6 cm. They asked me questions that I, of course, do not remember. Every question they asked my answer was “ I want an epidural NOW.”
Okay...Pause...So I had every intention of doing this all natural and unmedicated. That flew out the window. Dalijah, you made a human...you are already a freaking super woman. Get over yourself and get the damn epidural. Back to the story…
I was moved into the room and finally they let my partner in! He was stuck outside until they got me checked in and I could vouch for who he was etc. They really are strict because of Covid! All was right. He was with me, the epidural was on the way, I was ready! The anesthesiologist came in to prep me and talk me through what was going to happen. As soon as the needle was inserted, I knew it wasn't centered. (Insert hand slap to the face emoji)
Sure enough I felt my left leg go partially numb but my right side felt everything. Less than 2 minutes later, there were about 10 nurses and 3 doctors in the room moving very quickly and not telling us anything. We both looked at each other in fear and I asked what is going on. We were told the baby had a reaction to the epidural and his heart rate plummeted. “Dalijah, we are prepping you for an emergency C-section. We have to get him out.”
Nooooooooooo! I felt a wave of disappointment. Even though I gave the okay to my Doctor, All I could think about was the recovery time. I really did not want to have a C-section. I think the baby didn't either because as soon as I flipped over on my side, I heard his heartbeat shoot back up. Everyone slowed down and just waited. We were back in the game. My Doctor said they were going to continue to monitor him closely. I just stayed in my zen space and kept whispering to him “hang in there little guy, we can do this”. My partner and I are huge movie nerds. He is the best because during my contractions and anxiety, he started quoting lines from our favorite movie Bridesmaids to make me laugh. It really helped keep me calm.
An hour later around 11:25pm, the Doctor came back in to check me. 9.5 cm dilated. Let’s get this little guy out! OMG...it's happening. WTF I am really about to do this. I looked at my partner and said the words they told me I will say at least once…”I can’t do this.” He looked at me and said “ You are strong and powerful. Yes you can.” Well alrighty then sir, I guess I will do it as he held my leg up!
“Dalijah, every time you feel a contraction, you are going to give me three pushes.”
First contraction and three pushes...WOW THIS HURTS.
Second contraction and three pushes...The ring of fire is a real thing. (Google it) She said he is crowning! I reached down and felt his head!
Third contraction and three pushes...I heard the sweetest sound I had ever heard, My baby crying.
It took 14 minutes and 9 pushes to welcome him to the world. 5lbs 1 oz 19 inches. Small but mighty. I just looked at him as they laid him on my chest and said “Hi mama’s beautiful boy”.
It was automatic love at first sight.
Some women say they feel so much better once their water breaks, some say they feel better once the baby is out. For me, once I delivered my placenta I felt like I lost 40 pounds and could run a marathon. On average a placenta weighs around 2 pounds and is the organ you make to supply your baby with everything while in utero. When you delivery the baby, you must deliver your placenta very soon after. Best. Feeling. Ever!
We later found out that he had low blood sugar levels which is common in smaller babies so they had to give him glucose every few hours so his sugar would even out. Besides that, he was healthy and perfect!
The photo is my first meal! Bacon Cheese Burger, Large Fries and a Coke from Mel’s Burger Bar. I was so so hungry! I think I ate that meal in 5 minutes!
He is now 3 weeks old and has grown so much! He loves to eat and snuggle my boobs. He already has a little personality and makes me smile so much. Overall I had a beautiful birth experience. The staff at Mt Sinai East were perfect! The entire team of OB’s at OBGYN Westside was such a great fit for me! I loved each doctor I met.
Helpful Tips!
I know every woman is different but these are the few surprising things that happened to me after birth that no one really told me about. Also a few tips that really helped!
Being a Black Woman and knowing how high the mortality rate of black women is during childbirth versus any other race, I brought it up at EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT. My team of Doctors were amazing. I went to OBGYN Westside in New York City and felt safe and heard at every appointment. I wrote down questions each time I went in and made sure they answered every question. I expressed my fear of dying during birth and they made sure to ease my fear with every appointment. I can not say this enough, Black women, use your voice! Do your research when finding your OB’s. Write down the questions and if they can not answer find doctors or midwives that can. I started my pregnancy at another practice and switched when I was around 14 weeks. I am glad I did because the first practice completely missed that I had a 5 inch fibroid sitting on the top of my uterus. I went with my gut when I switched and I am so happy I did.
If you are low risk and can handle the contractions, labor at home as long as you can. I am glad I listened to my Doctor and Midwife from the birthing class. Had I gone in when I first started having contractions, I would have been sitting in the hospital room alone for hours.
Newbo rn babies are more sturdy than you think. When the Doctors came in to check on him it seems like they are just flipping around a little rag doll! I kept gasping as they pulled and tugged and pressed on him but it did make me feel a bit better that I was not going to break him.
The swelling kicks in about 3 days after giving birth. My Ankles and feet were so swollen. It is from the fluid and IV’s you are given in the hospital. It is also all the fluid that has been retained in your body the past 9 months finally leaving. My swollen feet and ankles lasted about 6 days postpartum.
Ask for stool softener as soon as you give birth...no like seriously. You will save yourself in the end. I have heard horror stories of women saying the poop after birth is like passing a cinder block. Thankfully I survived but I think it was due in large that I took stool softeners twice a day from the hospital. Two days after being home, I took metamucil and drank tons of water. My first poop, I said a silent prayer before going and all was normal! Praise The LORD! If you haven’t read my first trimester blog, I definitely had serious constipation issues during pregnancy!
You don't get any sleep in the hospital. He was born at 11:51pm. We stayed in the room for two hours after because I was still hooked up to an IV giving me fluids. We could not leave until I went to the bathroom. If you have an epidural, you get a catheter. The nurses have to check to see that you are passing all of the fluids once the catheter is removed. That first pee felt like heaven. When you finally get to your room, immediately the nurse comes in to check you, then another nurse comes to check the baby. He had to be checked every three hours for his blood glucose. From lactation specialist to signing papers for his birth certificate, someone is in the room every 20 minutes!
The cramping! Your uterus is about 6x it’s normal size when you are 9 months pregnant. After you give birth, It has to return back to size. It does this by contracting and man is it uncomfortable. Our bodies are seriously amazing. When you breastfeed, you release hormones that help your uterus contract. It’s a total mind screw because while you are trying to grasp breastfeeding down in the first week, your uterus is also intensely cramping.
I am 3 weeks postpartum and my abdominals are still sore. I kept wanting to stretch my abs but every time I try, I feel like the are about to split open. When they tell you to push, you round your spine and crunch down to give it everything you got to push that baby out. You are using every core muscle you have on top of everything else! You are causing your body a lot of distress so of course you will be sore.
Thanks so much for reading!